Christopher Paul Armstrong VII

21 weeks

2009-07-13T12:53:00.000-07:00

I am 21 weeks pregnant and here is what's going on:
I can feel a lot movement, but I have only felt a couple kicks and they were very very faint. The last time I was at the doctor he told me I have an anterior placenta. That is pretty rare, but it is nothing threatening. It means the placenta is in front of my belly instead of on top. That is why I really haven't felt any good kicks, because Alison is kicking a pillow! Hoepfully as my uteris grows it will pull the placenta up higher and away from my c-section because if it stays where it is it can be difficult for the doctors when they deliver Alison. They will have to cut through the placenta to get to her, and that can be kind of dangerous. They would have to do it very quickly because a baby needs the placenta to breathe until they are out of the uteris. Also, Cutting through the placenta will cause a lot of bleeding and Alison and I might need blood transfusions. That is the worst-case scinero. Most of the time the uteris moves up before the birth. So we just have to keep our fingers crossed and pray that her birth will go smoothly. There is no sense in worrying about it until it actually happens. My appointments with the high risk doctor are going good. My cervix is thinning. It started out at 5cm long, the 2nd visit it was only 4cm long, and the 3rd visit it was 3 and a half cm long. So it is showing a trend of weakening. But the doctor said he is not concerned uintil it shortens below 2cm. If it gets that short before I am 26 weeks he will sew my cervix shut to prevent premature labor. But after 26 they cannot do that surgery, so if it shortens after 26 weeks I will just be put on bedrest. So I cut back my hours at work. I only work 3 days a week now instead of 5 that way I am not on my feet as much. It will be really hard for us financially, but Chris and I agree it is the best thing to do right now. Alison and her safety is what's most important.
We moved into a bigger house. And I have been painting and decorating her room. We bought the bedding and wallpaper border it is going to be this theme:

It's a....

2009-06-14T23:04:00.001-07:00

~GIRL~

We went to womb with a view in modesto. They did a 3d ultrasound, it was really amazing. Our little girlie will be named Alison Lynn, she is due around Nov.19-20 (Just in time for thanksgiving) I am seeing a high risk doctor every 2 weeks, and he is keeping a very close eye on me, my placenta, and my cervix. So far I am still able to work 8 hours a day and live my normal life, but later on down the road I'm going to have to take it easy.

Update

2009-05-30T18:09:00.001-07:00

Christopher has a headstone! We went to visit him on easter to discover his stone. (I was just there a few days prior and he didn't have it yet, so it was a nice easter present) I try to visit him every week, but it's still hard. It does get a little easier with time, but I know we will never really heal. When they say you loose a piece of yourself, it couldn't be more true.
On a happier note: Christopher is going to have a little brother or sister! As of today I am 15 weeks along, due Nov. 20th 2009. We should find out the gender within the next few weeks! If it is a boy he will probably be Matthew John Armstrong, and if it is a girl she will probably be Alison Lynn Armstrong.

An amazing miracle!

2009-01-01T01:18:00.000-08:00

Today I got a call from the tracy memorial company. A lady went in with our newspaper article and gave them $800! She said she wants to pay for Christopher's headstone!! I was so happy I was shaking and crying! She restored my faith in humanity! There really are good people out there. Tomorrow when Chris gets off work we are going to go pick out the stone and get everything going. I am in shock! Thank God for this woman. She is an angel :)

March of Dimes

2008-12-30T21:53:00.000-08:00

Chris and i will be walking to raise money to help premature babies. We will be doing this in remembrance of our sweet angel. I have started a team and my personal goal is to raise $1000 and our team goal is to raise $2000! Please join us in supporting babies like Christopher!

Name marker

2008-12-29T16:58:00.000-08:00

The name marker was not there when we visited Christopher on christmas. It was not hidden by leaves or dirt, believe me i dug for it. I just want to thank whomever replaced it because my baby boy does not deserve to have an unmarked grave. Thank you so very much! We will hopefully have a headstone for him within a few months if all goes well. Chris and i are putting some of our paychecks directly into our savings account, but it will take time.

Good news! And a Poem :)

2008-12-28T18:35:00.000-08:00

Someone replaced Christopher's name marker!!! Now he doesn't have to be in an unmarked grave til we get a headstone!
Now here's a nice poem a friend sent me:

A million times i've needed you
a million times i've cried
if love could have save you
you never would have died
things we feel most deeply
are the hardest things to say
my dearest one, i love you
in a very special way
if i could have one lifetime wish
one dream that would come true,
i'd pray to God with all my heart
for yesterday and you.

Newspaper article

2008-12-27T07:32:00.000-08:00

My sister called the local newspaper and told them our story and they called me to get all the info and wrote up a story on our sad xmas morning.
http://tracypress.com/content/view/16848/2268/

Christmas

2008-12-25T14:09:00.000-08:00

I could not be any more heart broken than i was this morning. We went to the cemetary to spend Christmas morning with our son and his temporary name plaque was gone! I could not believe it, i just broke into tears. How could someone be so heart-less to steal something like that?! Now my son is in an unmarked grave! How could something like this happen? He doesn't deserve this. Now we really need to get him the headstone he deserves. I feel like a bad mother. I should have gotten him his headstone in the first place, i should have found a way to pay for it. Then this would have never happened. Now my precious baby is just a pile of dirt, no name, nothing. Ugh. My poor Christopher, I am so sorry.

All I want for Christmas is a headstone for my baby!

2008-12-24T05:53:00.000-08:00

Chris and I are going to take any money we get for Christmas to use towards getting our little man the headstone he deserves. If it still isn't enough then i am going to make cookie gift baskets and sell them. I will do all different themes (Happy faces, Harley Davidson, Nascar, Disney characters, anything you can think up i can do). I will do a basket of 6 cookies for $30 and a basket of 12 for $50. If you would like to help us by buying a basket please let me know. We have a lot of money to raise and any help you could give would be very appreciated!! *I can ship the baskets, if you pay shipping*

Cemetary

2008-11-08T14:54:00.000-08:00

Chris and i went to the cemetary yesterday to visit our little man. I know he isn't there, but it feels good to have a place to go to talk to him. I'm kinda bummed because his name was too long to fit on their temporary plaque. So instead of it saying Christopher Paul Armstrong VII it says "Chris P Armstrong". This makes me want to get him an actual headstone now. I was hoping their temporary one could hold us over for a while because the cheapest headstone i have found is $500 and its a square of concrete that looks like someone wrote the name with a stick. I could make that for less than $10! I saw a really nice headstone while we were there. It was for a baby a couple spots down from Christopher. It said "Most people only dream of angels, we held one in our arms". I think that is such a sweet saying. I would like to have something like that written on his headstone. But most importantly i want it to have his full name!

Goodbye my angel

2008-10-31T09:06:00.001-07:00

I am so thankful that God blessed us with Christopher. Even though it was for a short time, I am the lukiest woman on earth to have been able to be a mommy to the most beautiful boy I have ever seen. God has shown us true compassion from so many people, and has taught us so many lessons in this heart-breaking time. All i can do is trust in him and know that one day i will get to hold my little man in my arms again.

Christopher Paul 10/7/08-10/28/08
I held him once in my arms and forever in my heart

Here is a poem that has touched me:

I closed my eyes
and prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother
and I know I heard Him say,
A Mother has a baby.
This we know is true.
But God can you be a Mother
when your baby's not with you?
"Yes you can!", He replied
with confidence in His voice,
"I give many women babies,
when they leave is not their choice.
"Some I send for a lifetime
and others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb
but there's no need to stay.
I just don't understand this God,
I want my baby here.
He took a breath and cleared His throat
and then I saw a tear.
I wish I could show you
what your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile
with other children and say,
"We go to earth to learn our lessons
of love and life and fear.
My Mommy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a Mom
who had so much love for me
I learned my lesson very quick
My Mommy set me free.
I miss my Mommy oh so much
but I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep
on her pillow's where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
and whisper in her ear,
Mommy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I'm here.
"So you see my dear sweet one,
your children are OK.
Your babies are here in my home
and this is where they'll stay.
They'll wait for you with me
until your lesson is through.
And on that day that you come home
they'll be at the gates for you.
So now you see what makes a Mother.
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of
right from the very start.

My poor baby

2008-10-27T22:19:00.000-07:00

Christopher has taken a turn for the worst. He has started having seizures and he is having them more often and they are getting stronger eventhough he is on the max dosage of TWO medications that are used to control it. We had a meeting with his doctors today and they told us that they can keep Christopher alive, but he is not going to get any better. His lungs are very sick, he might not ever be able to breathe on his own. He had kidney failure. He has a tremendous ammount of brain damage, and would never walk or talk. He probably wouldn't ever be able to eat on his own, he would require a feeding tube for his whole life. He wouldn't have any quality of life. He is waving a whole lot of red flags and the doctors don't expect him to survive. So we have made the decision to let God take him. We have been blessed with three beautiful weeks with our son, and it is just becomming more and more obvious that he isn't going to be able to stay here. So tomorrow all of our family is going to visit him and we will all get to hold him for the first time, and then they will turn off his respirator while i hold him, and he will drift off to heaven.

The big move

2008-10-26T18:10:00.000-07:00

I woke up to a call at midnight last night from Oakland Kaiser asking my permission to transport Christopher to their hospital. Apparently Uc davis and Sacramento Kaiser were both full. They explained how the move would take place by ambulance, and how Christopher would have a cardiologist, a NICU nurse, and a respiratory doc with him. After getting off the phone it hit me, that this is happening so soon, and i won't get to be there for him, and i was scared because i didn't know this hospital, and i was worried and i cried for 2 hours. Then his doctor (Simko) at Dameron called and Chris talked to him. His potassium was really high and he still had not gone pee. Dr. Simko said that his kidneys were failing, and if he didn't pee within the next 12 hours it could be devastating. He was deteriorating. I sat and starred at his picture and prayed and cried. I prayed for pee. And i cried while trying to accept the fact that i might actually loose my baby boy. At 3am we got another call from Dameron. They told us that the transporters were there and now Dameron had to get my permission to move him. Needless to say, it was a long stressful night, and we didn't sleep much.
When i got up in the morning i tried to call Oakland NICU to check on him...i was on hold for 9 mins, then they hung up on me. I called back and they told me that his nurse was busy and she would have to call me back. Ugh. So we got ready and headed for Oakland. When we got there i almost didn't recognize him. He looked so sick. His blood pressure was very high. BUT HE HAD PEED!!! A lot! And the potassium went down, Thank God!!! The move stressed him out a lot. He seemed to be responding well to their new respirator. The doctor said his o2 levels were perfect. He was very anemic when he got there, so they had to do another blood transfusion. We were there for 5 hours. And just in the time that we were there he started to look a million times better. He is now 2 pounds and 7 ounces! That's a 5 ounce increase! But he had a couple seizures. And the doctor said that it is very common when they get stressed out for that to happen, but it is also very likely that it could have something to do with his IVH. The only way of knowing is just by waiting until tomorrow for him to calm down and they can run some tests. Until then he is on a medication to prevent more from happening. If it is related to his IVH it might end up being a permanent thing. But hopefully he was just way too stressed out, it was a very stressful move. I think i'm going grey. When we left him he was doing really well. His blood pressure even stabilized. So, hopefully he is well on his way to getting better. :)

Oct. 25, 2008

2008-10-25T14:39:00.000-07:00

We just got home from seeing our little Christopher. His biggest battle today seemed to be keeping his blood pressure up. His respirator rate was set at 85 and the oxygen was set at 60% which both of those are high, but it seemed to be what is best for him right now. His biliruben went up from 2 to 3, but that is still good, so they don't feel the need to put him back under the light yet. The doctor said that he is most likely going to transfer him to another hospital because his lungs are not improving and another hospital will have an osscillating? respirator which will hopefully help his lungs develop better. He would most likely go to either sacramento kaiser or uc davis. This is bittersweet news, because i know moving him is good and it will help him, but it is farther away from mommy and daddy! And it's not going to be as easy to go visit him every day. Christopher also isn't urinating as much today, the doctor says he doesn't know why this is, he could just be a little dehydrated, or (worst case senario) his kidneys might have shut down. But he doesn't think that is very likely because he is still peeing a little, he hasn't completely stopped. He definately has a long hard road ahead, but he is really hanging in there and showing us what a tough little guy he is. We brought him a blankie of his very own today, so ill post a couple pics. His little cheeks are getting chubby!

Oct. 24, 2008

2008-10-24T17:39:00.000-07:00

Our Son Christopher was born Oct. 7th 2008. He was 14 weeks premature. I created this site to keep everyone updated on how our little miracle is doing. So i will start from the begining....

I was due Jan 14th However monday oct. 6th i fell down the stairs... I went to the hospital, they hooked me up to a couple monitors. The nurse watched my son's heatbeat and confirmed that i had not started having contractions. She printed out the heat beat and showed the doctor in the hallway. I could hear them talking. "That baby is fine, what is she doing here?" - Doc "Well she fell pretty hard on her back and hit her head" - Nurse "Did she hit her abdomen?" - Doc "No" -Nurse "Well my concern is for the baby, not for the mother. That baby is fine, send her home" -Doc The nurse came in and told me that there is a blood test that they can do to make sure there was no truama and my baby wasn't in distress, but because i didn't hit my belly, they wouldn't do it. She said everything looks good, and sent me home. THE DOCTOR NEVER EVEN SAW ME! The next morning i woke up and i was having contractions. I didn't know what it was at first because i didn't feel a tightening like everyone describes, my lower belly just hurt really bad for 30 seconds, then it didn't. After about 20 mins of being awake i started to bleed. I ran to the bathroom and wiped. The tissue was bloody and i lost my mucus plug. I called my hubby and within 20 mins we were back at the hospital. They hooked me up to the same monitors and still didn't seem to be concerned. The nurse came in and told me i was contracting ever 2 mins and she was going to give me shot to stop it. Just as she was unwrapping the syrenge my water broke. She called the doc and 5 nurses in i had two people giving me 2 separate IV'S someone was shaving me, someone was inserting a catheter, another nurse was giving me a shot, and the anesthesiologist was asking me questions all at the same time. Within minutes i was in the operating room and my son Christopher Paul Armstrong VII was delivered via c-section. He was still-born. They resesitated him back to life. He was born Tuesday October 7th at 9:43 Am. He was 2 pounds even and 13 inches long. He is the most beautiful thing i have ever seen. I am now home from the hospital, but he will have to stay in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) for 3+/- months. He had a PDA (Patent ductus arteriosus) which is a common heart problem among preemies. But he has received treatment for it and the doctor feels that it is behind us. His lungs are pretty sick, he is using the repirator to breathe for him 100%. It's kind of understandable because he was born so young his lungs didn't have a chance to develop. But the doctor seems kind of discouraged because in the two weeks he has been alive his lungs really haven't improved at all. He has had jaundice, also something very common among preemies. He receives phototherepy (they put him under a blue light) and his biliruben (how they measure jaundice) goes down whenever he is under the light, but once they remove the light his biliruben goes back up. He has a grade 4 Intraventricular hemorrhage on BOTH sides of his brain, and the begining signs of hydrocephalus.....

What causes an IVH?

Some very fragile blood vessels surround the ventricles of the brain. The ventricles are cavities in the brain through which cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) flows. The blood vessels are underdeveloped in the very young infant. They start getting stronger after 32 weeks of gestation. These blood vessels are very sensitive to changes in blood flow. If the blood flow changes, the blood vessels break down and start bleeding. If the bleeding is slight, the blood remains around the blood vessels. If the bleeding gets worse, the blood breaks into the ventricles. In the worst cases of bleeding, the blood may leak into the brain tissue.

The hemorrhages are graded from 1 to 4 according to the severity of the bleeding. Small amounts of bleeding (grades 1 to 2) do not usually cause any long-term damage. Larger amounts of bleeding (grades 3 to 4) cause long-term problems. Grades 3 and 4 cause blood clots that can block the circulation system for the cerebrospinal fluid. This blockage is called hydrocephalus.

The brain makes cerebrospinal fluid (also called spinal fluid), which circulates through the ventricular system in the brain and the central canal of the spinal cord. With hydrocephalus, the circulation of fluid is blocked and the fluid begins to build up and the ventricles begin to swell. If the ventricles swell to a large size, the fluid can press on the brain and cause damage.

After IVH occurs, the hospital staff will watch closely for the development of hydrocephalus. If it occurs, there are treatments to keep the pressure under control.

What is the treatment?

Unfortunately, there are no proven ways to stop IVH from happening. The best approach is to try to keep the brain from bleeding by keeping the baby as stable as possible. When IVH does occur, it is treated by looking for and treating the complications of the bleeding.

Head ultrasounds
Ultrasound scans of the baby's head are done every few days during the first week to find out if there is any bleeding. Bleeding occurs during the first week after birth. If there is no bleeding the first week, it is unlikely to happen later. Every baby born more than 6 weeks early (before 34 weeks of gestation) is checked for IVH.

If there is bleeding, head ultrasound scans will be used to check if the bleeding has gotten worse and look for clearing of any blood clots. Most of the time, the body gets rid of small amounts of the blood over several weeks. The size of the baby's ventricles are measured to check for hydrocephalus. Many times the ventricles get slightly bigger but in a few weeks come back to a normal size without any treatment.
Supportive care
The best treatment is to keep the baby as stable as possible during the first week of life. Your health care provider will treat any lung conditions and infections and, if necessary, help the baby breathe. If needed, the baby will be given a blood transfusion to keep the blood pressure and blood count stable. The baby will be treated for any seizures that occur.

What is the treatment for hydrocephalus ?

It is more common for hydrocephalus to develop in the more severe cases of IVH (grades 3 to 4). Your doctor can tell if hydrocephalus develops by looking at the size of the ventricles on the ultrasounds.

A baby who has hydrocephalus may not have any symptoms at first. Sometimes as the hydrocephalus progresses, the baby becomes sleepy, has more apnea (breathing pauses), or throws up feedings. Sometimes the only sign of hydrocephalus is that the head grows too quickly.

Treatment for hydrocephalus is begun if the ventricles grow to a size that is thought to be harmful or if the baby has symptoms.

Spinal taps
A spinal tap is used to remove spinal fluid from the spinal canal to relieve pressure. This means a needle is put in the baby's back to let fluid drip out. Spinal taps can be performed repeatedly. This procedure may allow time for the blood clots to clear by themselves and for the fluid pathways to open up. However, spinal taps may not work if the blockage prevents fluid from circulating from the ventricles to the spinal canal in the back.
Ventricular reservoirs
When hydrocephalus cannot be treated by spinal taps, tubing can be surgically placed into the ventricles. This tubing in the ventricles is called a ventricular reservoir. It allows fluid to be withdrawn from the ventricles to control the pressure. If the hydrocephalus clears up, then the reservoir can be removed. If the hydrocephalus persists, permanent tubing, called a shunt, can be placed in the ventricles.
Ventricular peritoneal shunts
If the hydrocephalus does not clear up on its own, a permanent shunt is placed in the ventricle. The shunt takes the fluid from the ventricle and drains it into the abdominal cavity where spinal fluid is absorbed by the body. One end of the tubing is inserted into a ventricle in the brain. The tubing is tunneled under the skin and the other end is placed into the abdominal cavity.

Placement of the ventricular peritoneal shunt is performed by a neurosurgeon (brain surgeon) in the operating room. The baby is given anesthesia for the surgery.

The shunt must be replaced as the child grows or if the shunt is blocked or infected. The shunt tubing is not noticeable after the baby grows bigger and has more hair.

How long will the effects last?

There is no test or examination that can accurately predict what a baby will be like as a child or adult. Only time and growth will show whether the brain has been permanently hurt.

Sometimes other parts of the baby's brain may be able to take over the function of any damaged areas. This means that babies often do much better than expected. They do much better than an adult with a similar brain injury. Love, care, and encouragement that the child receives from his family also have a very important effect on his outcome.

In general, babies who have had small amounts of bleeding (grades 1 and 2) do not have any more problems than other premature babies who did not have IVH. Babies who have had more severe bleeding are more likely to have developmental problems as they grow. Many children who have had a grade 4 hemorrhage may have problems controlling movement on the side of their body opposite that of the injured part of the brain. If the other side of the brain is normal, these children can often function well enough to attend regular school.

Only time will tell to what extent a child's brain is injured and what long-term problems he will have.

What follow-up care in needed?

Children who have had IVH need to be observed and evaluated for several years to check if the bleeding has hurt the brain. Their developmental progress should be tested regularly. If problems develop, special therapy and education programs can begin. These programs will help the child do his or her very best.

*Please join us in prayer for our son*